Why Do We Gather?

By Robin Bush, ISR Communications

Throughout history the human desire for gathering is found throughout the world in festivals, pilgrimages, feast days, harvest celebrations, ceremonies, worship, and more. Energy builds when a group gathers. Like a wave, it gains momentum and lifts those gathered to a new place, a place higher than what one experiences alone. Chip Conley (hospitality entrepreneur, author, and founder of the Modern Elder Academy) describes this as collective effervescence — the energy that occurs when you feel connected to a larger group. And that connection, some say, is a fundamental human need, perhaps as essential as food or shelter. Conley says, “It used to be that people were born as part of a community and had to find their place as individuals. Now people are born as individuals and have to find their community.” We choose to participate in communal events to reduce our loneliness and sense of isolation. Whether it be ancient customs or modern gatherings, participation leads us to feel happier and connected and lends deeper meaning to our lives as we experience the communal rhythms of a gathering.

“The very act of assembling is an exceptionally powerful stimulant. Once the individuals are assembled, their proximity generates a kind of electricity that quickly transports them to an extraordinary degree of exaltation…No society can exist that does not feel the need at regular intervals to sustain and reaffirm the collective feelings and ideas that constitute its unity and personality…by means of meetings, assemblies, or congregations in which individuals, brought into close contact, reaffirm in common their common feelings.” – Sociologist Emile Durkheim

Collective effervescence transforms the experience. We see it whenever people gather with a common interest. Think of the feeling you get being in the stands at a sporting event when the crowd collectively rises to its feet cheering, or when friends get together to watch a game on television and share their favorite “game food.” Or consider Comic-Con, the huge annual gathering of people dressed in the costume of their favorite comic book, video game, or TV/movie superhero character. Or when Mardi Gras fills the streets with people sharing food, music, and dancing. Or when religious groups gather to honor traditions. Each of these gatherings becomes more emotionally powerful than any would if done alone. When we gather, our common interests link us to each other and can help bridge barriers in ideals and values. Gatherings, however, do have a beginning and an end; it is you who can choose to continue to ride the wave of the gathering’s energy, carry it into your life, share it with others, and participate in the community it offers. It takes a commitment to continue to actively engage, nurture, and sustain the sense of “us” that began at the gathering.

“Before this work, I didn’t know why I put so much value on these collective moments. Why I intentionally go to a church where I can break bread, pass the peace, and sing with people who believe differently than I do. Why I cried the first time I took my kids to see U2 in concert and why they both reached out and held my hand during my favorite songs. Why the University of Texas fight song always makes me cheer and throw my “Hook ’em” sign up. Or why I’ve taught my kids that attending funerals is critically important, and when you’re there, you show up. You take part. Every song. Every prayer—even if it’s a language you don’t understand or a faith you don’t practice. Collective assembly meets the primal human yearnings for shared social experiences. A collective assembly can start to heal the wounds of a traumatized community. When we come together to share authentic joy, hope, and pain, we melt the pervasive cynicism that often cloaks our better human nature.” – Brene Brown

Isn’t it time we each actively gather to re-create our social connection and find our way back to each other?