Optimism and Healthy Aging
By Charles LaFond, ISR Senior Director of Development
My elderly dog “Sugar” is napping on my lap as I write this love-letter to my own aging process, and also to yours.
It is true that aging takes tremendous courage in the “third act” of life. I won’t lie. My body is changing. Parts are sagging that used not to sag. My hands have wrinkles that I have never seen before, and stretching in the morning takes twice as long. Sleep can be fragile, and memory can fail me mid-sentence.
And yet, being afraid of aging is a choice. I refuse. I refuse to be afraid. I choose optimism.
As a fundraiser of 43 consecutive years, optimism is the bedrock of my work. I believe in people. I believe in the beauty of this planet and of philanthropy. I believe that life is full of order, disorder, and re-order. That’s just the way of a week, a year, and a life. I believe everything is “figure-out-able” if we remain in community, helping each other.
When I have an anxious thought about aging (and I sometimes do), I simply ask three questions a friend taught me to ask myself:
- Is _________(write anxious thought here)______ true?
- Can I be absolutely sure it is true?
- How do I feel when I think that thought about aging?
- Who would I be without that thought?
I have run through these four questions thousands of times when an anxious thought arrives in my head, and the last answer is ALWAYS “peaceful.” Without that worry in my head, I would be peaceful. I would not poison that moment.
Living with optimism is an inside job. I am the only one who can do it for me. You are the only one who can choose peace rather than worry. And I know too many people whose daily moments are poisoned by worry – moments they can never get back – moments that destroy minutes and hours and sometimes whole lives.
That’s what I love about my dog “Sugar.” She lives in this present moment. She never worries about the future and never regrets the past. She never worries about arthritis, though she feels it daily. She never worries about dinner. She just knows that in this moment, she is loved and cared for.
That’s what Island Senior Resources does for thousands of people – we organize help that defeats worry about aging. We celebrate being local, island communities of help.
Optimism is the brain-work of peace. It sets the stage for hope, and hope is the action-oriented approach to making things a bit better. Optimism leads to hope.
Hope is an action that proceeds from optimism, making things well in this moment by making the next right choice. Hope is getting good sleep, staying hydrated, taking one’s meds, connecting with friends, walking when it’s the last thing we want to do, and looking into the eyes of someone or something that loves you back.