Are You Feeling a Little “Scrooged”?

Are you a Scrooge? Have you ever been “scrooged” by someone else?

I know, I know—“scrooged” isn’t technically a verb. But I wish it were. If it were in the Oxford Dictionary, here’s how I’d define it:

scrooged
/scrooged/ – verb
The act of missing the point of life by withholding generosity and kindness because of family or life trauma that led to emotional hardening or wizened joy. The act of being shown that one is living a Scrooge-like life (whether by visiting angels or by people brave enough to tell the truth).

Why invent a word like “scrooged”? Because as I age, I see how easy it is to slip into that mindset—and how much our choices matter.

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is one of my favorite Victorian works. My grandmother read it to me year-round, her voice soft in the dark, the air scented with lavender. Today, an engraving of Dickens hangs above my writing desk. At 4:30 a.m., when I begin my daily writing practice, I glance at his image for inspiration.

Dickens wasn’t perfect, but he was wise. His wisdom came from aging and from walking London streets late at night—seeing social and political systems bully the vulnerable: children, sex workers, domestic staff, and salespeople.

And here’s what I’m learning about aging: what frightens me about the changes in my body is nothing compared to what goes on in my mind—specifically, choices.

Choices are the success or failure of life and relationships. Many diseases have been met with potent, expensive pharmaceuticals. But the one vulnerability we humans face is our choices.

Will I be kind to the grocery clerk when I’m running late and cranky? Or will I choose kindness?
Will I snap at someone who seems to have it in for me? Or will I ask, “What happened to them that made them so grouchy?”
Will I make a power move because I can? Or will I invite their perspective?

Older people get a bad rap—seen as grouchy, weak, or “gassy.” The truth? We’re often just tired, achy, running out of time, and afraid of our future in ways we weren’t when we were young. We have wisdom to share with young people. And they have energy to share with us.

So, as the December holidays fade, let’s keep Ebenezer Scrooge top-of-mind. On this island, let’s give aging a good name by choosing kindness over crankiness, gentleness over grouchiness, and merriment over miserliness.

What choices will you make today? Will you choose kindness over crankiness?