Loneliness vs. Being Alone

by Robin Bush, ISR Communications

Do you know the difference between being lonely or being alone?   Being alone means you aren’t in the presence of another person. It is physical solitude that often boosts creativity, reduces stress, and promotes relaxation. Being lonely is a negative state of mind when your social relationships (in quantity or quality) are not as you desire and do not fulfill your needs for social contact. Loneliness is emotional isolation.  You can be alone but not lonely, or you can be lonely even when surrounded by other people.

Humans are, by nature, social beings that need social interaction and proximity to others for optimal health and well-being.  Isolation today is a public health crisis in the United States as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes each day (per the U.S. Surgeon General).  Loneliness can even be a predictor of premature death. We can prevent this and support our emotional well-being by actively investing time in sustaining relationships with loved ones, expressing gratitude, and engaging in social activities.

Sometimes, we revel in the peace of solitude, but when we are alone and want to connect, we are spared the challenges of yesteryear when connecting involved long walks through the wilderness to visit a neighbor living in a cabin sometimes miles away.  Today, we are just a phone call, video chat,  class, or date for tea away from connecting with others.  There are different levels of connection, and we experience social interaction in a variety of ways – first is the sound of someone’s voice, and a phone call fulfills that, but even more critical are facial cues and body language that you can see in a video chat or, best yet, by meeting in person.

Not feeling particularly social nor ready for long conversations? There are other options.  Try exercising together.  You can join our south-end and north-end Let’s Move Together classes, walk with Senior Striders each week, or get outside with our Langley Walking Group.  There are S.A.I.L. (Stay Active and Independent for Life) classes weekly in-person and on Zoom that help with cardio, balance, and endurance.  Many find exercising together forms a camaraderie that comes from the shared purpose of reaching new goals.

Is sharing a meal with others more your cup of tea?  Join us for a meal in Bayview, Coupeville, Oak Harbor, or Camano, and stay after lunch in Coupeville for one of our Lunch and Learn presentations. Are you looking for laughter and a bit of friendly competition?  Come to ISR’s Games Afternoons in Bayview every Wednesday. Volunteers at Senior Thrift or our meal sites also find working together forms sustaining connections. You can find all the details on these events and activities on our website, www.senior-resources.org.

Or you may be seeking to transform loneliness into positive solitude.  Try connecting with nature (time in nature is even written as a prescription by many medical professionals).  Pick a few things you love and do them – every day or week, like reading an engaging novel or digging in the garden. Work on cultivating a positive mindset by disconnecting from social media and re-connecting with yourself.  Embrace silence (when you intentionally turn off all distractions) for 30 minutes daily. Just make a comfortable, quiet place where you can sit and be peaceful, turn your thoughts inward, and steer away from the “to-do’s” and challenges of daily life.  Enjoy mental and physical silence.  This state brings calmness and allows your body and mind to recharge.

Whether it is social engagement or fulfilling solitude you seek, you can leave loneliness behind and live a healthier, more fulfilling life.  Don’t put it off; living a happier and more fulfilling life depends on it.