Caring for the Caregiver
By Robin Bush, ISR Communications
Lenore lived nearly 800 miles from her parents. After her mother had a stroke that left her unable to speak, Lenore left her job and moved into her parents’ home to care for her mother. Her father, now nearly 90 and hearing impaired, also needs assistance. Lenore cares for both of them since neither can cook, drive, or use a computer or phone. She barely manages to get through each day. She is exhausted by all the responsibilities of caregiving.
She realized that to maintain her endurance and mental attitude, she needed to ask her brother to take over the care of their parents for a week to give her a break. He came and she left for a week of vacation to rest.
Family caregivers are the backbone of the national long-term care system, and they are physically, emotionally, and financially drained every day. The Rosalynn Carter Institute for Caregivers said 20% of caregivers had to quit their full-time jobs, and 44% reduced their work hours to work part-time.
“Caregivers have increased rates of chronic health conditions…and often deal with depression and isolation.” (Jennifer Olsen, Chief Executive of the Rosalynn Carter Institute)
Caregivers need to be well to be able to care for someone else. There are things you can do if you are a caregiver:
- Make an appointment for a medical check-up
- Create a personal space in your home where you can sit for a few minutes each day to breathe.
- Ask a neighbor or friend to come in daily long enough so you can take a walk, get a massage, join a friend for tea, or bake while the person you care for rests.
- Keep a journal
- Nap when the person you care for is napping
- Eat healthy snacks (nuts, grains, or fruit)
- Talk regularly with your pastor
- Reaching out to others to let them then know you could use a few healthy dinners
- Contact ISR (360-321-1600) to talk about government benefits including those for veterans. There may be support for home modifications and supplies.
- Create a phone tree of those you can contact in an emergency and share it with everyone on the tree. Engage those you care for in your plans. Talk them through the plan so that if someone else needs to assist with caregiving, the person you care for is okay with that.
One of the most critical keys to sustaining yourself as a caregiver is overcoming hesitance to ask for help. Once Lenore reached out to her brother, he agreed to come regularly and now together they share the responsibilities of caregiving.