Attention is a Form of Love

By Charles LaFond, ISR Senior Director of Development

Attention is important and has a best friend named trust. Between attention and trust lies the human willingness to engage. Even “Sugar,” my beloved dog, showers me with attention and trust, the former of which she is designed to do and the latter of which she has earned from me and I from her.

Much ink has been spilled on definitions of love. I would not dare to define it here. I think it’s like art. One knows it when one sees it. And yet one of the best definitions of love I know is noticing. When we notice or pay attention, say, when a friend places a glass of water near my place because she knows I often forget to drink water, she has taken note. When I write a note to a friend who seems a bit down, I have noticed. When a donor makes a gift to Island Senior Resources, I have noticed the gift’s arrival and write a note. When a friend has come too close to one’s boundaries, one notices and asks them, as a gesture of love and respect, to take a small step back. When my dog “Sugar” seems anxious and is staring at me over her glasses, I notice that she needs something, and given her disinclination to speak (she is pretty quiet), she appreciates that I notice her. She appreciates that I love her enough to ask myself questions about food, snuggling in her lap, or taking a walk.

Every day, Island Senior Resources works to help youthful seniors, aging seniors, adults with disabilities, and caregivers. When islanders notice, see, and pay attention to what we do every day, they increase attention and often increase trust in our agency as one that helps people. That has formed our reputation over the past half-century.

Indeed, when I am at the grocery store, standing in the checkout, or at the Farmer’s Market buying artisanal bread for my cheese, or when I am wandering a festival of crowds milling and smiling, it is so often that people say, “Thank you for all that Island Senior Resources does.” I am quick to say that hundreds of people make it happen, and that I will pass that thanks along. When someone sends a gift to the agency, my thank-you letter says much the same thing. But the best experience I have – what really warms my heart- is overhearing someone remarking on Island Senior Resources. I love that they are paying attention. I love that they trust us with their mothers, fathers, or even their aging selves one day.

I also love etymology – the way words were invented.

Take the word remarkable.

“remarkable(adj): “observable, worthy of notice,” hence “extraordinary, exceptional, conspicuous,” c. 1600 AD, from remark (v..) + -able, or from or based on French remarquable (16c.), from remarquer. Related: Remarkably; remarkableness. From 17c.-19c. remarkables (n.) were “noteworthy things or circumstances.”

The modern word “marketing” is a related 17th-century term that gained favor in the Victorian era, derived from the busy markets where goods were sold based on people saying that they were “remarkable.” From there, the word “remark” came into fashion as people “remarked” on things they saw, purchased, or used from their local market. And voila! The word “marketing” relates to something being re-mark-able. “Remarkable” is a person’s feeling that something is worth making a remark about, which may result in convincing someone else to give a product or nonprofit more attention.

That’s marketing. And word of mouth, blue ink, phone calls, visits, or well-placed articles are the hard work and valuable efforts that change minds, attract attention, and deepen trust. From ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs to religious scriptures, from creative business signs in an ancient Roman market to our own communications at Island Senior Resources, we are all in the business of inviting attention and building trust. We do that by being “re-mark-able.” We do that by being so good, trustworthy, and helpful, indeed such a good investment of philanthropy, time or reference that one person often remarks to another person, “I support Island Senior Resources regardless of whether I every use their services, because investing in what they do, makes our life, on this tiny island, on this little planet, better for all of us.”

After some recent toe amputations, I needed Meals on Wheels for a few days until I could stand at my stove a few months ago. Then, I remarked to a friend, “They helped me.”

At this point in American history, we need to help each other locally. Marketing is not providing people with information on where to go to get what they need. It is me telling a friend exactly where I JUST WENT to get WHAT I NEEDED.

If you love what we do at Island Senior Resources, please share that with a friend, because what we do every day is indeed remarkable.